father's day

swimming in gene pools

bacteria in your eyes

bubbling to the top

the power to leave

when things are going alright-

so empowering.

wretched little kids

spinning and spurring me on

glad to be v-safe

did you hear the news?

yes, the vagrants are coming.

not literally.

Mother's Day

He came in the in-between time. In between when I was outside last and outside next. And left a token of esteem. A kindness that touched me beyond words. Perhaps it was because I was feeling so low. Perhaps it was because I was given a glimpse of myself through different eyes. A glimpse that eased the day's pain and made me smile and gave me hope.

He came in the in-between time. In between my last life and the one that is coming. And became my friend. How fortunate am I. A statment, not a question, intentionally.

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Part of being a mother is letting go and still loving. Maybe that is part of being human. Or maybe that is part of being in sync with the Divine. It is hard to let go of what one selfishly wants for one's self in order to allow another to breathe without the pressure of added guilt for their own process.

Yeah. It kind of sucks. And it is kind of a priviledge to be entrusted with that responsiblity.

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He came in the in-between time. In between when I was the mother of a child and when I will be the mother of a man. And I have much gratitude that he is my friend.

vacuous

what happened?

...i had a dream, not sure if it was real or not, but sad. 

Flat Women Rejoice!

"Hey, You Make Me Throw Up a Little"

But maybe it's not you; it might be me.

O.K. so maybe it started out being you. The moodiness and withdrawal leave me feeling isolated, alone and, when admonished for being too loud at midnight, like I should feel bad for being me. Maybe I am as inconsiderate as some think. It isn't intentional, I assure you.

I try to tip-toe around each morning to protect your precious sleep because you are so... so... in need of having things the way you need them. Very inflexible, one might say except that it is wrapped in the presumption that all this is necessary to maintain your good health. So I strive to oblige.

But when I try to sleep, I do not rate the same considerations. Huh. In fact, I'm pretty darn considerate. I am. But why, oh why, aren't you? Do I teach you nothing? And no, it doesn't make it better when you say that I'm just a better person than you. While that may be true, I still expect you make the effort. C'mon. Just do what I do except in reverse.

How hard is that?

Oh, so where was I in my whining about You?

So, maybe it's me. Because I am demanding somehow. You wash my car. I wash your laundry. You cook dinner. I clean up. I clean the toilet. You use the toilet. Oops. Well, maybe that one doesn't seem quite right... You change out the light fixtures and stand on ladders. We both grocery shop but I'm more of a shop-for-awhile person and you're a shop-for-tonight person. These aren't the things that I don't understand.

It's when we act less like we're romantically related and more like we're familialy-related. I don't want to be your sister. I don't have a brother but I'm used to that by now, ya know? You don't have a sister, but if you want one, I suggest looking elsewhere cause that's not the role I want to play. Not that one, not mother and not child. Just so you, know.

Well, you are cute.
And I do love you.
And maybe we're both psycho.

Or maybe you're more psycho than me.

Or maybe this is the most evolved way to be?

And maybe I don't want to be that evolved.

But maybe it's you and not me, at all. There is always that possibility.

Response cuz Response Thing Isn't Workin 4 Me

"If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning, I'd hammer in the evening... all over this land..." As it turns out, I do have a hammer but I don't hammer that often. And I smile less than I'd like some days. But sometimes lately, I think if I used the hammer more, I might smile more, too. So, there's that.